The Flu?

So, my upset stomach may be turning into something 100 times worse. The flu. I hate the flu. I haven't thrown up in years and I don't intend on it now.

I am mildly worried how this will impact my exercise routines. I have been slowly increasing my elliptical days, currently up to three, and I try to balance on the exercise ball the other days for a few minutes and work with hand weights. But, I am all "woogly" as we say in our family and I don't think a mile run with this is a great plan. I think I could still play with my hand weights, I will lose the Oprah jiggle-Bingo Wings if it kills me, as long as I stay sitting I should be fine.

I was at work today, I left at lunch because I am not feeling well and an office job is so different from a retail job in that they don't want you to be there when your sick. I am sure its because they don't want to get sick, but I would rather be relaxing anyways. When I worked in retail I had a flu during the whole "Swine Flu" bonanza, may have even been THE Swine flu as I don't think I have ever been sicker and the retail job still made me come in for the second half of my shift. I was apparently a chump going in but when they say "No one else can come...PLEASE" you have little choice in the matter. Should have coughed on the manager but I didn't.

I am currently sitting at my moms work counting down the minuted until we drive home (we car pool in together because she lives 5 minutes up the road so I take a bus from her work). Its pretty awkward sitting at some strangers desk in an office filled with people you don't know.

I guess I will look up some other interesting blogs. They have many fun ideas. I found one that had her 101 reasons why she wanted to lose weight. I tried to think up 101 reasons but I only got to 50. I will maybe list them next time and try to work my way up. I will try to link the blog in here if I can find it again. I believe it was linked in the one I posted last time. I will start typing up my list soonish!

Bittersweet Sundays

I like the fact that Sundays are sleepy days, HOWEVER, Mondays are stupid and Sunday is right before Monday.

This weekend is okay, I was supposed to study all weekend and catch up on my classes, instead, I watched TV… Ya I know, useless. But on the exercise front I managed to run both days this weekend! (Well when I say run I mean elliptical). I ran a mile on Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. For me that is already pretty great. I started tracking how long it takes me to run it. Each time I have run, I have done it about 20-30 seconds faster. I know that its in no way impressive just yet, but seeing as how 8 weeks ago I couldn’t even breathe after 5 minutes, I am working on it.

I need to stop procrastinating on school work, even if it is for exercise. I still need to pass even if I do lose 40 lbs.

I started looking up some fellow bloggers to read and get ideas from. I found one I really like http://www.myallnaturalweightloss.com/category/about-me/. She seems like a genuinely nice person and its very easy to read. She also has links to a few other blogs, some are no longer used but I started reading a few others and they were also interesting.

So now its Monday, and because it is “Family Day” there is no Boot Camp. I am pretty disappointed because it got cancelled two weeks ago also, however I have been sick all day so really a whole but of skipping and squats might cause some puke-age. I haven’t really been sick since I started this whole “healthy-living” ordeal so I don’t know how to exercise when nauseous… I don’t know why but sometimes milk just tries to kill me? I hate it so much. I ate cereal all weekend (recently discover honey bunches of oats: YUM!) but today when I had my cereal for breakfast I just got really sick and progressively worse all day. Oh well.

My plans for tonight, with Boot Camp being cancelled I have an exciting evening of How I Met Your Mother and its Monday night sitcom extravaganza.

I think I will try to balance on my balance ball that may make me icky but even a bits better then nothing.

I don’t think I have lost any weight again. I am getting… sort of concerned? I know I haven’t been perfect food wise and maybe snacking too much, but I really have been trying. I don’t know for sure because I forgot to weigh-in until after breakfast and since I learned the difference from before food to after food (I tested it once: In one day my weight fluctuated 3-4 lbs.) I do not really want to count the after eating weight. But, I haven’t lost anything in at least two weeks, maybe three. I can’t stay at this weight forever, I am still too jiggly.

<—This episode is on TV right now. Legend- wait for it – DAIRY

 

I do not want to look like fat Barney.

So that’s all for today. If anyone has any suggestions to get moving without starving myself or eating rabbit food let me know.

Have a good week everyone!

Procrastination Station aka My Couch

It is a super blistery Saturday in which I have much to do. Dishes, vacuuming, tubs & toilets to scrub, but instead I am situated in the comfiest location on my couch watching a movie on TV I own and have seen dozens of times. Not only is there all this house shenanigans to do but I have a midterm in two weeks and I think two papers due as well, one may even be due the same day as the midterm one the Thursday before.

On top of all of this I really need to go exercise.

This week is… mediocre. I have been mostly okay food-wise, despite the realization the the secret ingredient for goulash (hamburger in macaroni to anyone not directly related to me) makes it SO addictive. Especially with cheese on top! YUM! Except its not so great for you. probably not the worst thing I could eat but really not going to help me lose those pounds that so badly need to go away.

Exercise-wise this week is better then last week mostly because Boot Camp was not cancelled this week. It was again BOSU BALL week. I am a total-super-fan of the Bosu Ball. I have found one online that I likely will be buying but I need my pay check to stop being in hold status and get into my bank account.

I love the Bosu Ball. Its that half exercise ball and then flat on the other side. It works out your core like to tomorrow. At Boot Camp she has us jog on the round side so it is squishy and doesn’t hurt my old lady knees so bad. Its so hard to stay on, the instructor (Vivian) pointed out that my feet don’t face fully forward when I run. They always are a bit turned out. I don’t know why they do that, if its from my pathetic year and half of dance or what ever else but they were then the top of my attention as I ran I focused so hard on keeping my feet straight I kept almost falling off. Either way you use your core muscles the entire time trying to balance. Even just simple things like bicep curls and other dumb bell exercises become great ab exercises because of the balance factor. 

Also, lunges off the ball, squats on or half on the ball really add to the pain factor. Then, she has you flip the ball. Then its a flat surface to stand on but the round side is on the ground making it the wobbliest, unbalanced, spooky thing to try to get onto. Once your up and balanced its not so bad but trying to get up while holding hand weights its damn near impossible. Its pretty embarrassing but then when you attempt to squat it just becomes seventeen times more humiliating. You legs start to overcompensate and wobble back and forth working you bum so much harder then any normal squat could even hope to.

They are surprisingly expensive these Bosu Balls. I have been looking them up for a few weeks now, from Amazon to Kijiji nothing seemed right. Good ol’ Costco came through. Still more money then I really had thought they would be but shipping is included and it looks trusty enough. I will think about it a bit longer before I spend almost 100$ by the time taxes get through with it, but I really enjoy them. Even the jogging is a great help and could be easily done in front of the TV.  Any thoughts on the Bosu?

Bosu Ball Link - Costco

Other then the Boot Camp, Thursday before school I was proactive and ran on the elliptical for and episode of How I Met Your Mother. The thing with this is the hardest part is the first five minutes. After that point you start to get motivated by the fact that you already did five, why not another five, then another then why bother stop because there’s only five more minutes until the end of the episode.  This time I was interrupted a few times and I was at 0.93 miles at the end of the episode and thought to myself, “I would like to have run a mile today, that sounds impressive and then I can have something to improve on.” So I kept going. I ran one mile in 22 mins and some amount of seconds. I should have noted them, I believe it was like, 39 seconds or something like that. Now, 22 minutes is not a fast time for running a mile in the least I am well aware, but it is a starting point for sure.

Back to my procrastination.

I have been sitting here for over four hours now, four hours of sitting. I have checked Facebook multiple times only to remember each time that its pretty boring because I don’t really get the appeal, and there's always stuff on YouTube but I am really not in the mood. So TV and me are having a lazy Saturday morning. However, my elliptical is probably lonely and if I want to beat my three days in a row of cardio record from last week then I really need to go use it soon. Maybe after this movie… Maybe after lunch. I really need to do it today though. I will beat this food baby despite all my goulash is really not going to help.

On a more exciting note the recreation guide is out for Spring-Summer. I plan on enrolling in one or two classes. I would reallllllly enjoy a Pilates/yoga class and an aqua fitness one sounds like fun also. I believe Chelsea wants to sign up with me, not sure if my mom wants to do either of those classes but its nice motivation to join with people you know. I am extremely shy so even walking into a gym or exercise class really causes a lot of anxiety. Having someone with me instantly lowers my stupid anxiety and makes me focus on what I need to, breathing. Exercise classes make me focused and work hard, too hard to worry about people looking at you because your too busy gasping for air as your told to do three more stupid squats. Although, maybe another Boot Camp would be good. I wonder if it will be the same patterns? Even if it is its gotten me 16.5 inches and 8 lbs smaller in 7 weeks, so I would be alright with that. I think everyone should try a Boot Camp sometime in their life. It is a total body workout that really (I suppose it depends on your class) works you out more then you thought possible. So, go try one! Even for just one class just to see how it is. You probably will almost die, but its so worth it.

Standing Still

Why is it that when on this crazy path towards healthiness, standing still is the worst thing that could happen? Well maybe going backwards is worse, but standing still sucks.

This weigh-in I did not lose any more weight. Boot camp had been cancelled on Monday causing a huge lack in muscle building exercise , but even still I used the elliptical twice (better than usual and for longer) and did crazy cardio dancing on Friday night with my cousin playing Just Dance 2.

If you want a crazy fun cardio workout, I highly recommend Just Dance 2. I don’t know if I would use it alone, maybe if no one in was home because unless they are playing with you its goofy looking. But, if you can get passed feeling like a spaz and like you are making a fool of yourself it is crazy. Many good songs are available to dance to from Hey Ya by Outcast (Cardio-tastic) to Ra Ra Rasputin (very challenging) to the Monster Mash (super cute). You can even buy more songs then included through the store and using Wii points. It is not the most complex game, and I am sure that crazy gimmick-savvy gamers prefer the version for X-Box Kinect but to me, the holding of the controller is no big deal. I will link it here so you can take a look. I play it at my cousin’s house with them. My Wii is not working but as previously mentioned it is much more fun to play with others, especially when they try just as hard as you do to do all the moves, not just wave around the one hand with the remote.


So after completing a pretty intense 40 minute dance party and another 40 minutes of stretching, followed by a weekend of elliptical craziness I was hoping to have lost at least 1 pound. Nope. Nothing. Technically I gained back .5 of a pound but I don’t really feel like it’s necessary to record that ... unless it’s in my favour. But I will because I am trying to be honest with myself.
I blame my weekend of food choices. I had been craving pizza all week and finally caved and my boyfriend brought home a lovely STUFFED CRUST cheese pizza. Bastard. How can you only have one slice of that? So two slices and still wanting more I managed to stop it for the day but then the next night I seemed to have a late lunch only to eat an early dinner. Another slice of pizza on top of the frozen mini pizzas I had just eaten for ‘lunch’ (it was already 3:00 by the time I had lunch). That is WAY too much for one evening.

My fault, It could have been a week with great progress. I was so proud that I was able to elliptical through an entire How I Met Your Mother episode that I somehow just kept eating? I don’t know why I did it, maybe I thought I worked really hard so I can eat more, but I did not burn enough calories to eat that much pizza. Or maybe I just didn’t think and let my cravings get the best of me. So now I haven’t moved forward in the least. 

It was supposed to be a great week but now I feel like I disappointed myself. I guess I can use this as a motivation towards the coming weeks. I have a wedding to attend late April and I really would like to look SO much better than I do now. I want to be able to wear a dress and not have to feel self conscious about my Bingo-Wings and Food Baby sticking out and wobbling around.

Hopefully by next week I will be down AT LEAST one pound. I am contemplating a second weigh-in either tomorrow or Wednesday to see if it changes once I can get the pizza out of my system from boot camp tonight.

Oh well, I need to let go. Maybe when I compare my measurements tonight I will feel less crappy about my week. I don’t think I lost much off anywhere but you never know! I need to let this go and realize that as long as I don’t slip backwards too far I will be okay. And even if I do, I can always restart, as awful as it is. I didn’t gain weight which is good as I think I have been steadily gaining weight since high school was over. So I will keep trying, perhaps weigh-in again tomorrow or Wednesday and try to stay motivated. I knew this wasn’t an overnight solution (Although we all wish it was) and I am going to have to literally work my ass off to see results.
 
UPDATE** Went home and noted my measurements and even though I didn’t lose any weight I am down another 3.5 inches. I am so glad I decided to do measurements otherwise I would have been SO discouraged long ago…Also, a really funny episode to work out to: Season Four, disk 2: The naked man. Its pretty epic. WATCH IT!

Progress Report

Well as promised, I will tell you folks (all .. one of you) about my progress so far.

As humiliating as it is I figure it might help someone eventually.

In 6 Weeks I have lost 2.5 inches off of my chest, waist, “abs” (aka food baby), and thighs. I have also lost 3 inches from my hips. The is 13 inches my friends. 13. In 6 weeks. Not too shabby huh? I think… I don’t know what’s normal but I am pretty happy with it. Of course I wish it could go faster, but unless I am some kind of super-model-actress-woman with personal trainer/chef/stylist I think 13 inches in 6 weeks is reasonable.

Now, in 6 weeks I have lost about 8 pounds. I say about because the first few weigh-ins were at night and now I weigh-in in the morning.  That is moderately reasonable however I could do better if I had been doing more cardio and eating a bit better.  Restaurants, birthdays, and Hockey game pretzels are NOT the key to weight loss. However, I now try to drink 8 cups of water a day even if I don’t succeed every day I am trying pretty hard, if I wore a pedometer I bet about 2/3 of my daily steps would be towards a bathroom.

I really need to kick up my cardio fat burning… I just am not good at getting motivated when I am home. I really need to get on that…

Also, I have been given a “reward” motivation so I really need to get moving. I have been promised a trip to Syracuse to go shopping once I get to 145lbs. 10 more pounds. That is so far away, but only kind of… hopefully it isn’t too long. I would like to lose more weight before Easter as I am going to a wedding for a friend of mine and I would like to look lovely.

 

So I wanted to show you my little “game” if you will. If you go to http://corpo.mvm.com/en/shopping/weightloss.php you can click through and create a little virtual version of yourself. What I did was make a time line of my “self” and even if 5 lb increments doesn’t look like a lot it really looks impressive when it is all said and done. I will add the next images as I achieve them. So far just down one picture, not much different yet… honestly no difference apparently according to this but you will see as it goes along it gets better. (Hopefully)

 

 

 

I highly recommend the virtual model, I find it pretty motivating and it is pretty easy to create and I like that it has different options for different body types (top heavy, bottom heavy hour glass) as well as small build, medium build, larger build. Fiddle around with it for a bit and you will find the one that looks most like you (even if, like me you don’t like it right now) and you can see how you will turn out when you get where you want.

Special Occasions are Challenging…

This week, my dad turned 50. As any normal human would do, we ventured out to celebrate via a meal. Luckily, the expensive steak place was a crazy wait so we ended up going for chicken instead. Still, the problem is, restaurants are so hard to resist things in. French fries are just so yummy and salty, and chicken fingers are all crispy and tender. Stupid birthdays.
Restaurants are such a problem for people on a diet. They serve huge portions, a lot of them refill your drink until you are exploding, and it always costs so much you don’t want it to go to waste so you just eat it anyways.
I know the tips you get on the diet websites, pack up half of your food, eat skinless chicken on a salad without dressing, eat before you go and drink lots of water to slow yourself down. All that is well and good but when your in a group of people and every one is stuffing their faces full its hard to not get caught up in the delicious excitement. So then how can you discretely eat a meal with family without screaming I AM ON A DIET at the top of your lungs?
I think, there really is no way. If you are a picky eater like me, restaurants are kind of a challenge anyways of being able to order something you will enjoy. Other than that when you are a fat kid like me its even more challenging to stop eating the delicious foods before they need to roll you away. I think that when you are changing the way you eat as I am trying to do (albeit slowly) you need to take charge and try your hardest not to be embarrassed. I still ordered what I normally did, but when I felt myself getting full I stopped. I ate my chicken fingers first and then ate the greasy fries after. I was actually too full after three chicken fingers and a few fries I ended up getting it to go. I also only had one soda and then drank water. Free refills are not necessary (despite the fact you pay for them whether or not you drink it…)
I think that part of the reason people always start diets in January is because there are not many special occasions in the winter months. Summer you have back yard barbeques, ice cream cones, and potato chips by the pool… It is impossible to resist the fatty goodness that encompasses the summer. Although winters challenges exist, they are all fairly close together… October-December then you restart in January.
Hopefully I can get my act together by summer.. It is mighty hard to find a bathing suit when you are as wide as you are tall…
Week 6 starts tomorrow. I am not looking forward to the weigh in tomorrow. Although I did okay at the chicken restaurant I then was taken out to breakfast this morning and a plate full of French toast and bacon was screaming my name. So good but SOOOO bad. I should probably go work some of it off. I need to build up some more muscle so it burns my calories for me…
On another note, I got my hair cut this week. I had originally planned to wait until I lost a lot of weight and do a make over type idea, but then I figured why wait? It will help motivate me maybe? My hairs a lot shorter now, a lot less to hide behind so I need to make the rest of me better to look at.
I will update you next time on my progress so far! I meant to do it this time but got distracted with french fries on the brain!

 

How To Be a Super Hero

In the last month I have begun this journey that I have restarted at least 9 times a year. It is the weight loss journey. I have been overweight since …. ever. I have never been that skinny girl… or even average size girl. Always the chubby girl. I haven’t ever really tried THAT hard to fix it. I always think I am working so hard and then am so discouraged when one week in I am not bikini ready, but honestly I spend half of the time eating McDonald's and Pizza. This time, I am trying to take it all a little more seriously.

Within my family, we do not have the best genetics. We tend to be emotional eaters and when we eat we do it up big. We aren’t a salads and fruits kind of family. We are a fast-food, pizza delivery, greasy cheeseburger kind of family.

Then came 1-1-11. Jan 1st. Every woman in Canada pretty much looks in the mirror and says “this year, I will get in shape”, including me. Every year I do this. Every year I promise myself no more Mcfoods, no more midnight pizzas, no more late night take-out. Each and every year I fail miserably. Embarrassingly. And just continue to buy bigger pants.

The past year has created an all time high/low. Highest weight-Lowest self confidence.

2010 was a pretty important year. I got a new job which in turn evolved into an even better job. (pay wise). I bought a house. I quit my old job. I even became better friends with people I had known a while.

All of these things have amounted into the beginning of this 2011 with a thought: what else can I change? I got out of that dreadful apartment, I got out of the no respect job, and I had a few more people to hang out with, so what could be left? Only the one thing I have wanted to change since I tried my first diet at age 10. My weight.

2011 came and I made a commitment, although I had made it before this time I had made some goals. I had enrolled in a boot camp. Man I did not know what I was in for. More of that later. I had also made a list of resolutions I wanted to achieve by the end of the year, many of which related to health, including, the limiting and eventual lack of diet coke. My bubbly bff that had been with me through thick and thin, my refreshing sip at the end of a long day of work, you my friend will be replaced as you are killing me. These goals I made were actually part of a school assignment. I took a course on the psychology of motivation and emotion, in which we wrote a paper as a motivational speaker, and we had to choose someone to motivate and create a plan. I chose myself, to motivate myself to get healthy. I think it helped.

I made goals to drink more water, cut out soda, exercise way more and try to become happy with who I am.

The first seems not so hard but is actually fairly challenging. As someone with a tiny bladder it is pretty inconvenient to get the 8 cups in but as I drink more and more it is becoming easier. I am on week five, although there are some days where I only had 1glass, I still have over all done a pretty good job.

Now Soda, that was the tricky one. To lower my caffeine need slowly I began to sub out a few cokes a day for diet 7up. no calories no caffeine but has the bubbles and taste. It seems to be working. from the old 5-6 diet cokes a day now I have one. I intend to cut it out completely but for now, waking up at 5:15 needs a jolt and I do not like coffee. I am kind of sick of that excuse because in all honesty I don’t think it helps me at all however until I am ready I will allow myself the one a day.

Exercise, now we return to boot camp. Goodness. I tell you we arrived that day (my mother, sister and I) fully expecting a workout. What we got was an ass whooping. I really knew I was severely out of shape but by the second set of exercises I was done. I was purple in the face (granted I always turn red but this was worse) and panting, coughing, I couldn’t move by the end. I was feeling SO defeated and like I shouldn’t even be there. I felt like I may as well eat a tub of ice cream and an entire pizza as there was no point as I was incapable of even exercising if I wanted to, however, I had made the commitment, I had already signed up for the classes, even if it was a Christmas gift I was not about to waste 7 weeks and 60$ (especially of someone else’s money). So I kept at it. We now had our 5th class. We had done four different routines in each of the weeks. The 5th class we returned to that first weeks routine. I was dreading it. The step, the triceps dips, plank position, medicine balls… we don’t get along. But I did it. I was still exhausted, I was still red, but I did it. I stopped a few times during to get water but I did not lose hope, I did not lose confidence and even when I couldn’t do it perfectly I still tried. And in all honesty I think that is al that matters. As long as you try you will succeed eventually.

I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I am not going to exercise once and come out looking like Heidi Klum. I know I will never ever look like her. For starters I think she is almost a foot taller then me and perfect looking. However I am going to work and become the best ME I can be.

I recently had some fun colouring with my cousins, drawing all of us as super heroes as I have a deep love for them. I will post the photo I drew of myself as it is basically how I want to be. Super heroes are strong, confident, proud and able. They do not back away from a fight even though the bad guy (in my case burgers) have crazy weapons that could destroy you in a minute (bacon & cheese), you stand up to them and show them whose boss. Portion control that bitch. If you want a hamburger, go ahead, just eat it and recognize that you need to work it off. Show the bad guy that you wont take their crap anymore! I will wear a bikini one day evil burger monster!

So that is how you become a super hero ladies and gents. You need to find your evil nemesis, face him, maybe even compromise and find a solution.

I will keep you updated along my journey, as it may help me to write it all down somewhere. I will also share my progress thus far in a later post, its fairly impressive what one month can do…