In the last month I have begun this journey that I have restarted at least 9 times a year. It is the weight loss journey. I have been overweight since …. ever. I have never been that skinny girl… or even average size girl. Always the chubby girl. I haven’t ever really tried THAT hard to fix it. I always think I am working so hard and then am so discouraged when one week in I am not bikini ready, but honestly I spend half of the time eating McDonald's and Pizza. This time, I am trying to take it all a little more seriously.
Within my family, we do not have the best genetics. We tend to be emotional eaters and when we eat we do it up big. We aren’t a salads and fruits kind of family. We are a fast-food, pizza delivery, greasy cheeseburger kind of family.
Then came 1-1-11. Jan 1st. Every woman in Canada pretty much looks in the mirror and says “this year, I will get in shape”, including me. Every year I do this. Every year I promise myself no more Mcfoods, no more midnight pizzas, no more late night take-out. Each and every year I fail miserably. Embarrassingly. And just continue to buy bigger pants.
The past year has created an all time high/low. Highest weight-Lowest self confidence.
2010 was a pretty important year. I got a new job which in turn evolved into an even better job. (pay wise). I bought a house. I quit my old job. I even became better friends with people I had known a while.
All of these things have amounted into the beginning of this 2011 with a thought: what else can I change? I got out of that dreadful apartment, I got out of the no respect job, and I had a few more people to hang out with, so what could be left? Only the one thing I have wanted to change since I tried my first diet at age 10. My weight.
2011 came and I made a commitment, although I had made it before this time I had made some goals. I had enrolled in a boot camp. Man I did not know what I was in for. More of that later. I had also made a list of resolutions I wanted to achieve by the end of the year, many of which related to health, including, the limiting and eventual lack of diet coke. My bubbly bff that had been with me through thick and thin, my refreshing sip at the end of a long day of work, you my friend will be replaced as you are killing me. These goals I made were actually part of a school assignment. I took a course on the psychology of motivation and emotion, in which we wrote a paper as a motivational speaker, and we had to choose someone to motivate and create a plan. I chose myself, to motivate myself to get healthy. I think it helped.
I made goals to drink more water, cut out soda, exercise way more and try to become happy with who I am.
The first seems not so hard but is actually fairly challenging. As someone with a tiny bladder it is pretty inconvenient to get the 8 cups in but as I drink more and more it is becoming easier. I am on week five, although there are some days where I only had 1glass, I still have over all done a pretty good job.
Now Soda, that was the tricky one. To lower my caffeine need slowly I began to sub out a few cokes a day for diet 7up. no calories no caffeine but has the bubbles and taste. It seems to be working. from the old 5-6 diet cokes a day now I have one. I intend to cut it out completely but for now, waking up at 5:15 needs a jolt and I do not like coffee. I am kind of sick of that excuse because in all honesty I don’t think it helps me at all however until I am ready I will allow myself the one a day.
Exercise, now we return to boot camp. Goodness. I tell you we arrived that day (my mother, sister and I) fully expecting a workout. What we got was an ass whooping. I really knew I was severely out of shape but by the second set of exercises I was done. I was purple in the face (granted I always turn red but this was worse) and panting, coughing, I couldn’t move by the end. I was feeling SO defeated and like I shouldn’t even be there. I felt like I may as well eat a tub of ice cream and an entire pizza as there was no point as I was incapable of even exercising if I wanted to, however, I had made the commitment, I had already signed up for the classes, even if it was a Christmas gift I was not about to waste 7 weeks and 60$ (especially of someone else’s money). So I kept at it. We now had our 5th class. We had done four different routines in each of the weeks. The 5th class we returned to that first weeks routine. I was dreading it. The step, the triceps dips, plank position, medicine balls… we don’t get along. But I did it. I was still exhausted, I was still red, but I did it. I stopped a few times during to get water but I did not lose hope, I did not lose confidence and even when I couldn’t do it perfectly I still tried. And in all honesty I think that is al that matters. As long as you try you will succeed eventually.
I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I am not going to exercise once and come out looking like Heidi Klum. I know I will never ever look like her. For starters I think she is almost a foot taller then me and perfect looking. However I am going to work and become the best ME I can be.
I recently had some fun colouring with my cousins, drawing all of us as super heroes as I have a deep love for them. I will post the photo I drew of myself as it is basically how I want to be. Super heroes are strong, confident, proud and able. They do not back away from a fight even though the bad guy (in my case burgers) have crazy weapons that could destroy you in a minute (bacon & cheese), you stand up to them and show them whose boss. Portion control that bitch. If you want a hamburger, go ahead, just eat it and recognize that you need to work it off. Show the bad guy that you wont take their crap anymore! I will wear a bikini one day evil burger monster!
So that is how you become a super hero ladies and gents. You need to find your evil nemesis, face him, maybe even compromise and find a solution. 
I will keep you updated along my journey, as it may help me to write it all down somewhere. I will also share my progress thus far in a later post, its fairly impressive what one month can do…
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